


Let's Not Do This

by Mingyou17



Category: Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, Disbandment, M/M, Misunderstandings, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Post Produce 101, Produce 101 - Freeform, post wanna one, post-disbandment
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-28
Updated: 2019-01-01
Packaged: 2019-09-29 10:58:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17202230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mingyou17/pseuds/Mingyou17
Summary: For Seongwoo, happiness was not as close as he had hoped. Or perhaps, he'd just missed his chance.





	1. The Beginning and the End of the Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> Hi I can't write descriptions and the start is setting everything out please stick with me.

Seongwoo’s first impression of Hwang Minhyun was mixed. The man was evidently handsome and from a relatively prominent company which would make him competition based on that alone. Seongwoo wanted competition and to prove himself, and having to pay attention to a pretty face was hardly a punishment. However, this handsome man was an idol already, and that word ushered in judgemental whispers across the set that Seongwoo couldn’t help but agree with. Failed idol or not, he had to have a few fans, and those few fans were more than Seongwoo had. Add to that the overall unimpressive audition, Seongwoo wasn’t even sure if he was worth paying attention to. Later, when whispers of the new ranks of the Pledis trainees reached A Class, Seongwoo made his mind up to stop caring about the lot of them. That many years of training and experience and not even able to cling on to a C rank? That was hardly a threat to Seongwoo, especially when he was able to maintain his place in A. No, Seongwoo just needed to focus on himself, not the friendships forming around him and the gossip about who was popular or who was actually talented. Seongwoo just needed to debut.

However, regardless of your determination, things never quite work out the way you plan them. Seongwoo’s decision to never truly consider the Pledis trainees was utterly forgotten when he was chosen by Minhyun to form a team with him, much to Seongwoo’s surprise since he’d never spoken a word to the other man. Seongwoo learnt that the distance from his seat at the top of the pyramid to the stage hadn’t allowed him to comprehend just how handsome and visually pleasing Minhyun really was. He also decided that Minhyun really hadn’t performed to his ability in either of the evaluations since in just one preliminary run-through of Sorry Sorry, Minhyun had proved himself to be a better vocalist and dancer than Seongwoo could have ever imagined, especially from a D rank. Minhyun also wasn’t half as intimidating as Seongwoo had expected. He was giggly and chatty and had almost immediately asked Seongwoo if he wanted to speak informally with him, since they were the same age, despite Minhyun’s overwhelming seniority in the industry. Seongwoo learnt that Minhyun could perform and his live broadcast score seemed to suggest that he could do so in a way that captured the audience more Seongwoo, despite him being the centre. Minhyun was undoubtedly competition yet for some reason, Seongwoo didn’t want to view him that way.

Seongwoo would have very little to do with Minhyun again, despite the evident Justice League bond, until Never, in which Seongwoo was quite happy for Minhyun to be centre, knowing that he’d do the position justice. They didn’t talk much one on one, but they both observed each other and were happy to have each other around, glad for a familiar face and for some reason comforting presence around. The same would apply for Hands On Me and around the dorms; they would see each other and they would talk as a group but never really directly to each other, and that was fine, neither seemed to sense anything wrong or unnatural about that. It was hardly noteworthy, since being surrounded by so many boys meant that you had very few opportunities to actually have one to one conversations, and it just so happened that when Seongwoo did, it was never with Minhyun.

Before Seongwoo knew it, the whirlwind of Produce 101 was nearly over and he was stood on a podium watching Minhyun fumble and shake his way through his speech. Despite his extreme anxiety, a small bit of relief poked through as he saw Minhyun, yes, Minhyun deserved to debut. After Seongwoo’s name had been also called up and he felt like his knees might just give out and his heart might explode, he wasn’t able to quite understand just why he was that happy to hug Minhyun and announce that they’re going to debut together. Such a simple and obvious statement, but in the moment, it felt like the most poignant thing to say. They were debuting of course, but what was debuting was a group not individuals, and having someone already that he could be just content around was just another small victory.

Things again worked out differently than Seongwoo had expected when they debuted. Seongwoo had been naïve about what it meant to be part of a team, thinking it would all be immediate brothers for life, all equals bonds. However, it was just like real life. There were people Seongwoo clicked easier and quicker with, like Daniel and Woojin, where things were fun and simple. There would be people who he’d always feel just the slightest bit of distance with. But that was natural, they were all individuals with different and conflicting personalities and it certainly wasn’t a bad thing. Neither was it unexpected. Seongwoo believed that he would have been able to predict who he’d grow close with accurately from the start of Wanna One to the end and he’d be mostly right.

His error came with Hwang Minhyun. At the end of Produce 101, Seongwoo suspected that they’d be comfortable with each other, but he hardly expected for them to become best friends since Minhyun’s image was always just a little bit too held-back and put together for Seongwoo’s liking. He felt like Minhyun let on just enough for you to think you know him, but if you reflected on it you really knew very little about who he truly was and Seongwoo usually liked to know just who he was dealing with. It took several more months for Seongwoo to truly appreciate that Minhyun was significantly different on broadcast and that his image of Minhyun had been formed by what he’d seen of him when the camera was on. Thus, over the course of several months Seongwoo’s view of Minhyun transformed from him being someone he would never be the best of friends with, to someone that he should be close with, but simply wasn’t. They weren’t awkward around each other, not really, they just weren’t as close as he expected them to be. Seongwoo surmised that he posed an obstacle to Minhyun’s goal of being the cute hyung and the even cuter dongsaeng, perhaps because Seongwoo received Minhyun’s cuteness with a little bit of awkwardness which had to be discouraging. Seongwoo had never understood the appeal of aegyo and endeavoured not to enable others in it where ever he could so it was almost against his morals to admit that Minhyun was unreasonably cute, he didn’t need any encouragement.

However, over a year in and something just seemed to shift and change without Seongwoo knowing. Seongwoo indulged Minhyun more, their sense of humour seemed to match and they were spending their free time together in ways Seongwoo would never have expected. There was something about the shocked but almost giddy way Minhyun had accepted Seongwoo’s invitation to go out for dinner one time, which Seongwoo only realised afterwards was the first time they’d truly been alone together, that made Seongwoo think that he’d been the barrier. When they both seemed to realise just how great it was to be together, it was like a new sense of urgency had filled them. Perhaps if they were just normal friends, or if they were together in a permanent group, they wouldn’t have had to jump at every chance to spend time together in their last few months left together. Perhaps Seongwoo wouldn’t have filled his camera memory card of pictures of Minhyun, both of when he requested Minhyun to be his model and of moments he candidly captured, knowing that his camera would hide his smile and that he’d always be able to look back on these easy moments. Perhaps he wouldn’t have found himself always holding back so that he’d be able to sit next to Minhyun so that the other man would accidently knock shoulders with him, tease him, be his stupid self next to him, just existing as Minhyun next to Seongwoo. Something had definitely changed but Seongwoo was intent on ignoring the way his heart skipped a beat when he looked at the other.

In the final few weeks of Wanna One leading up to the new year, Seongwoo could tell they were clinging even closer to each other. This wasn’t exclusive to them of course, all of them were doing it. They all tried to maintain the optimism that they’d all remain as close and that the bond they had forged was unbreakable. True while that may be, there was a difference between living with your best friends to only being able to see them time and again, whilst working. Seongwoo found himself confiding in Minhyun more and more; his fears that he wouldn’t be able to be the all-rounder that his fans wanted due to his company’s lack of skill in managing idols, his terror about being alone after becoming so happy in a group, his worries about losing all the fans and the fame he’d unconsciously become accustomed to. All the while, Minhyun would listen, holding his hand sometimes, and then offer him realistic advice. He never promised it would all work out, but he managed to reassure Seongwoo that he would find his happiness nonetheless.

Minhyun was not so quick to share his heart. However, it was evident as Minhyun’s announcements of their upcoming schedules became shorter and shorter that Minhyun was increasingly becoming emotional in a way Seongwoo hadn’t seen since the final. Seongwoo wouldn’t ask what was wrong like the others would, he’d simply take Minhyun’s hand in his and offer the older man a smile, a promise that it might not all work out, but he would find his happiness.

Two days before the new year, for some reason unbeknown to Seongwoo, Minhyun had found himself in the other apartment of their dorms for the evening. Daniel had invited himself into the Parks’ den to game and had fallen asleep on the floor between them consequently (which Minhyun and Seongwoo were sure to snap a picture of and sent it to the group-chat to provoke embarrassing exclamations of cuteness). The pair made their way back into the living area and chatted away about meaningless things for hours until a comfortable and contemplative silence descended upon them.

“I’m scared.” Minhyun announced suddenly with a nervous laugh, the type that was filled with every emotion, like if he didn’t laugh, he’d cry. Seongwoo wasn’t entirely sure how to process emotional Minhyun. Even the image of stoic, emotionless Minhyun was long gone, he was still one of the members less likely to cry or admit their suffering, to the point that Seongwoo had once said that Minhyun would break a bone and would continue performing so not to inconvenience anyone.

Seongwoo decided the best thing he could do was just follow his instincts, dropping to his knees in front of Minhyun who was sat on the couch and cupping his face with his hands, tilting his head so that their eyes met.

“Happiness is closer than you think.” Seongwoo said firmly, maintaining eye contact in a way he almost always actively avoided.

“Yeah.” Minhyun whispered and it was only the way that Minhyun’s breath washed against his face that alerted Seongwoo as to how close they really were. Minhyun’s eyes were shining slightly, both from the lighting and from unshed tears but what was the most unnerving was that Minhyun wasn’t look at Seongwoo, he was looking at Seongwoo’s lips.

And that made Seongwoo panic. So much had changed between them in the past year or so, Seongwoo wasn’t sure if was ready for yet another. He couldn’t promise Minhyun that he would be his happiness right now, not when Seongwoo couldn’t even be sure of his own.

“I’m… Going to go to bed.” Seongwoo stated quickly as he leaned back on his heals before scrambling to his feet and rushing into his room, abandoning Minhyun in the living room to wallow in how his fears had been realised.


	2. It Meant Nothing, It Meant Everything

It wasn’t that Seongwoo didn’t try to dwell on what occurred between him and Minhyun, it was more that he simply didn’t have time. The next day was filled with rehearsals for the last music show of the year and of Wanna One which filled the dance practice with an oppressive sense of denial and urgency. After that, Jisung insisted that they all go out together as a team, knowing that the one that occurred the day after would be full of their staff, which while lovely and necessary, wasn’t their team. They drank, they ate, they talked for hours about memories, future plans that really didn’t need telling since they knew already and anniversaries they wanted to celebrate and performances they wanted to do together. They cried and they laughed and Seongwoo began to feel like a weight had been lifted. He couldn’t possibly be truly lonely when he had ten people to share his life with, although they may reply late or be too busy to meet often.

As Seongwoo watched each member get picked up by their managers from their own companies on 1st January, he felt a sense of completeness and resolution. He had no regrets. That was until it was just him and Minhyun left. Seongwoo hadn’t noticed that Minhyun was still there due to the number of rounds of hugs and goodbyes, but the older man had apparently been sweeping the dorms for anything left behind which a rather embarrassing amount. Seongwoo was going to drive himself back to his company and admittedly he didn’t know why he was still there, sat on the couch of their bare dorm, but he also didn’t know why Minhyun was hanging around, the two of them sat in silence.

“Seongwoo, about the other night-” Minhyun began suddenly, and it felt a little like deja vu. He looked at Seongwoo earnestly, but not without tension.

“It’s fine, it didn’t mean anything.” Seongwoo interrupted, afraid of rejection and afraid of rejecting.

“To you.” Minhyun said abruptly, his eyes narrowing as he looked at Seongwoo. Minhyun liking Seongwoo back wasn’t a concept that was shocking to Seongwoo but he thought that Minhyun of all people would know not to pursue it, they were too busy, too high profile, too scared.

“Minhyun, let’s not do this.” Seongwoo pleaded, hearing the desperation in his own voice.

“I’ll see you around, Seongwoo.” Minhyun said quietly briefly meeting Seongwoo’s eyes, his despair palpable before gathering his bags and exiting the dorm without looking back.

 

Of course, Wanna One didn’t end promotions end there and then like they probably should have according to their contract. There were a few award shows that they attended. The last few before 2019 had felt bittersweet but the later ones felt like a reward and commemoration of their time together which they could all enjoy a little better when they had slept more than a few hours collectively. That coupled with many rehearsals for their concert, where most of the time they’d end up falling asleep at someone’s company, they saw each other plenty. It was different of course, they didn’t live together anymore, and the finality of the concert impressed on all of them the sense of the end.

Minhyun, he was different too. On the surface, he was simply the member getting the least sleep and the one who was the most fatigued, coupling rehearsals with Wanna One with practice with Nu’est. But greater than that was his relationship with Seongwoo. As easily as they’d come closer together, they fell apart again. All the members had noticed, it was impossible not to, but they only had so much time together in which they had to practice and resolving tensions was not longer a priority, they weren’t an active group anymore. Minhyun was cold again, acting like himself to the others but leaving distance from Seongwoo, careful not to act too playfully or cutely. Minhyun was untouchable again. He became the Minhyun who could laugh easily with Seongwoo onstage at their final concerts but would avoid him backstage and would leave their celebratory dinner without saying goodbye to him, who would never contact him first, who wouldn’t look at him with any expression other than hurt. Wanna One was technically over but they’d always have each other, but losing Minhyun felt like he was losing everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha... Angst is the core of Onghwang, is it not?


	3. Shut Up and Smile

Seongwoo had quite naively expected that he’d meet at least one member almost every week, expected messaging to come easily to them. However, they were all busy, all tired at different time, always preparing for something. Seongwoo took a break from music, wanting to practice earnestly for his proper acting debut and was utterly shocked by the difference in lifestyle. Of course, during rehearsals and filming the days were almost longer than Wanna One’s in the height of promotions and were utterly exhausting. However, in the days in between, Seongwoo had free time like he hadn’t had for the previous two years, where he’d seek out members who would ultimately normally be too busy to see him. Seongwoo didn’t know what to do with his boredom and loneliness, knowing he couldn’t throw himself into dancing for fear of injury. Consequently, Seongwoo begged his company for schedules, and was shocked when only a few days later he was informed that he’d be a guest MC on a music show. Seongwoo announced the news on their group chat, beaming at the encouraging he received and not noticing that a certain someone hadn’t replied to him.

It wasn’t until Seongwoo arrived on set that the realisation of what was obvious kicked in; Minhyun was promoting at the moment, having wasted little time between the final concert before preparing for his comeback as Nu’est. Seongwoo knew some of the members had managed to get down to his comeback showcase and some had visited the music stations to show support, but Seongwoo had avoided it, wanting to supress the feelings of guilt and anxiety he felt when he saw Minhyun, even through a screen. Of course, that was never going to be a realistic plan because of course, Nu’est were candidates for first place and it was obvious they would win, and Seongwoo would have to present it, the producers whispering about the views it’ll get as a mini reunion.

As Seongwoo announced the winner, he was acutely aware that Minhyun was standing next to him, in fact a bit too close for comfort. Minhyun beamed at him as he accepted the award and hugged him like nothing had happened before he exited the stage. Seongwoo waited backstage for him, wondering if he’d imagined the whole disagreement or thought more of it than he ought to. However, when Minhyun came down off stage, any smile on his face disappeared when he locked eyes with Seongwoo, before turning to walk off and ignore him completely.

“Minhyunie!” Seongwoo shouted, aware that the attention it would bring would mean that Minhyun wouldn’t be able to ignore him.

Seongwoo didn’t neglect to notice the concerned glances that passed between the Nu’est members before Minhyun walked forwards urgently, dragging Seongwoo into an empty room nearby, his grip so firm that it hurt slightly.

“Congratulations, Minhyun.” Seongwoo said quickly when Minhyun had closed the door, summoning a smile.

“Let’s not do this, Seongwoo.” Minhyun said bitterly with a sarcastic smile on his face and it certainly wasn’t a familiar expression to Seongwoo, hating that he’d brought out this side of Minhyun.

“Minhyun-“ Seongwoo began, feeling his anxiety escalated to an unprecedented amount.

“No. Haven’t you made this hard enough?” Minhyun said firmly, glaring at Seongwoo directly, making him feel like a dear in the headlights.

“If you were going to reject me, you shouldn’t have led me on… I can’t believe I really thought you felt something.” Minhyun muttered bitterly, his voice cracking slightly, his expression looking absolutely crushed and heartbroken.

“Shut up and smile when you leave. Nobody can know anything.” Minhyun said abruptly, snapping out of his emotion which was similar to how Seongwoo had seen him prepare for stages. Grabbing Seongwoo’s arm and opening the door, Minhyun smiled in a way that would have convinced Seongwoo had he not heard their conversation.

“See you later!” Minhyun exclaimed brightly, leaving Seongwoo alone in the corridor, now acutely aware of how his actions had backfired, of how he had devastated Minhyun, of how he’d ruined everything.


	4. Radio Waves

Two months later and Seongwoo had somehow avoided meeting Minhyun. He knew that each of them had met up with several of the members, with Minhyun posting selfies with members he met at broadcast stations and for meals, Seongwoo doing the same whenever he met up with them. Whether it was a conscious effort on his part, he wasn’t really sure. Seongwoo never sought out Minhyun and it was pretty clear that Minhyun would deny or avoid him regardless. That didn’t mean Seongwoo didn’t miss Minhyun, rather he pined for him and spent most time when he was left alone with his thoughts cursing himself for ruining what they had. He’d spent a while blaming Minhyun, it was him that brought up the topic of feelings, if he hadn’t then nothing would have changed, not really. Ultimately though, Seongwoo knew it was his fault for denying Minhyun the chance to talk and not telling Minhyun that he truly did love him but was too afraid to go through with it. Seongwoo had birthed and bred a misunderstanding that went far beyond what he had expected.

Seongwoo was caught up in his thoughts on his drive home from his company building after some meeting he wasn’t even sure he had any business being when the voice of a young girl on the radio caught his ear.

“I’m in love with my best friend but I don’t know if they like me back, what should I do?” Seongwoo smiled bitterly at the familiar dilemma, it was nice knowing he wasn’t alone.

“Sometimes… It’s hard,” The voice cut through the noise of traffic immediately, the unconfident edge to the voice unfamiliar but the voice itself undeniable. Minhyun. Of course, Seongwoo sighed, Minhyun had landed a radio show a few weeks ago and of course, it was his fate to finally tune in for that question. “You may want to tell them in case they feel the same way but be careful. You have to be prepared to lose your friendship since you might not be able to forgive them or forget it if they don’t feel the same way. It… Might not be worth it…. Next question.” Minhyun spoke carefully and slowly, as if he was afraid his skill for speaking well and cautiously would abandon him, ending in an awkward fake laugh which Seongwoo had long been able to distinguish from his genuine ones.

Seongwoo tried to not think about anything, just tried to clear his mind but before he knew it the streets were becoming blurry. He wiped his wet eyes furiously with his hand and pulled into the first place where it was safe to, he couldn’t be driving in this state. Seongwoo only had a vague idea of where he was parked and he knew that he was going to hate himself the next day but the moment he noticed a drinks bar across the road, he already knew how that night was going to pan out. Anything that would distract him from the pain in Minhyun’s voice and his words was all he could want.

Way too many drinks later and Seongwoo could practically hear Jisung and his management screaming at him. He was tired and he felt like death warmed up, except that he wasn’t warm at all, he was freezing. All better reasoning having well and truly abandoned him several shots ago, Seongwoo found his phone. Squinting at its obnoxious brightness and blurriness, scrolling aimlessly through his contacts until he found the name he would always gravitate to.

“What are you doing? Do you know how late it is?” Minhyun’s voice was loud and tense and it made Seongwoo grumble, everything too sharp on his sense but still too fuzzy for him to comprehend.

“Minhyunie… I miss you.” Seongwoo slurred, feeling emotional again at the sound of the other’s voice.

“You’re drunk. Who’s with you?” Minhyun said quickly, Seongwoo was too drunk to recognise the urgency and concern in his voice.

“Alone.” Seongwoo mumbled, resting his head on the table. It was too loud.

“Where are you?” Minhyun asked firmly, perhaps sensing just how far gone Seongwoo was, and hoping his tone of voice would catch his attention.

“Not sure… On way home.”

“Seongwoo, can you move somewhere visible from the road for me?” Minhyun’s tone changed, softer, guiding, pleading almost, desperate to keep Seongwoo safe, despite everything that had happened.

“Heard you on the radio.” Seongwoo muttered, his eyelids feeling too heavy to ignore, his head spinning, Minhyun’s gasp far from being his priority.

“I’ll… I’m coming to get you. Just stay where you are, can you do that for me?” Minhyun urged, and if Seongwoo had been conscious enough he might have heard the rustling of Minhyun rushing to leave his dorm. Minhyun waited on the line for a bit longer before it was apparent that Seongwoo was past being able to reply, before reluctantly hanging up.

 

“Seongwoo.” Seongwoo was woken up around half an hour later, not that he had any concept of time, by a relieved looking Minhyun, whose expression was softer than Seongwoo had seen directed at him in rather a long time.

“Minhyunie… You always looked after me and that really made me love you.” Seongwoo slurred, feeling perhaps a bit too giddy, as he mumbled and pointed at Minhyun.

“Stop talking.” Minhyun snapped, his expression completely darkening. A sober Seongwoo might have shrunk back or if he was feeling brave, refute that command. But drunk Seongwoo was tired and pliant and allowed Minhyun to pull him up and just about carry him to the car.

“Sleep, Seongwoo. We’ll talk tomorrow.” Minhyun said, looking conflicted, as Seongwoo mumbled incoherently as Minhyun fastened his seatbelt. Both of them were more than happy to drive back in silence.

 

Seongwoo woke up to a series of light taps on his cheek which immediately alerted him to the throbbing of his head which made him curl into himself and groan. However, the taps did not cease, in fact they may have gotten firmer.

“Seongwoo, I don’t have all day.” Immediately regretting it, Seongwoo’s eyes snapped open in shock; Minhyun. He would only remember that he had called Minhyun and the contents of that call several hours, where he would be filled with paralysing regret and shame.

“Talk. Why did you call me?” Minhyun said sharply, crossing his arms as he sat on the edge of the bed – Minhyun’s bed, Seongwoo’s brain supplied, Minhyun had let him sleep in his bed.

“Minhyun I was drunk.” Seongwoo shrugged, summoning all his acting skills to seem as nonchalant and unaffected as possible.

“Don’t act like you could’ve called anyone; you called me.” Despite all of Minhyun’s not to seem it, throughout Produce 101 he carried a sense of desperation with him but it was always bubbling under the surface, never too obvious. This Minhyun was without a doubt despairing and it seeped out through his posture and expression. This Minhyun was hoping for an answer Seongwoo was too much of a coward to admit, too scared for his future, too scared to love another wholeheartedly.

“I miss you.” Seongwoo said calmly after a moment of hesitation.

“No. You don’t get to.” Minhyun said sharply.

“Am I not allowed to? You’re the one who won’t even let us be friends anymore.” Seongwoo could hear his own voice rising and knew that their conversation was inevitably going to become an argument and Seongwoo couldn’t remember any time where he’d genuinely argued with Minhyun.

“You pity me. Do you think I can stand that?” Minhyun spat, his eyes welling up despite the sharpness to them.

“Surely it’s better than ruining us completely.” Seongwoo pleaded, feeling that the both of them were becoming unreasonable.

“Do you not understand just how much it hurts to be ignored by someone you love?” Minhyun asked, pulling at his hair in frustration.

“Oh, I do!” Seongwoo exclaimed, wanting to tell Minhyun just how much he’d suffered, for him and for them, but stopping himself before he could say it. Minhyun couldn’t know.

“Just… Go.” Minhyun sighed, rubbing his face with his hands, not bothering to look up as Seongwoo left.


	5. Resolute

The next day, Seongwoo met with Daniel. They’d had it planned for weeks at this point, waiting for Daniel’s company to give him a day off (which Seongwoo found ridiculous considering the amount of work and cash Daniel had brought to them already) which only made Seongwoo feel guiltier when he was unable to dispel his foul mood before arriving at the restaurant. Daniel noticed immediately, asking if something was wrong which Seongwoo would of course deny and proceed to distract Daniel with the dessert’s menu.

“You and Minhyun, what happened? Confession gone wrong?” Daniel asked suddenly midway through their meal after they’d finished catching up, at which point Seongwoo may have choked on his food slightly. Truthfully, Seongwoo knew that the question was coming and the rest of the members must have been desperate to know the answer, as it appeared that Minhyun hadn’t mentioned anything. After nearly two years where there was very few secrets between them, the story of how the two of them went from best friends to strangers was perhaps the best kept secret among them, and the most regretful. However, it was evident all of them wanted to respect their privacy and had hoped that either of them would confide in them when the time came, Daniel was clearly hoping now was the time.

“Something like that.” Seongwoo muttered.

“Oh, you finally confessed?” Daniel said, his eyes rounding in surprise at Seongwoo actually admitting anything. Despite being roommates, Seongwoo had never been explicit about his feelings towards Minhyun but little got past Daniel when it came to people he cared about. Seongwoo wouldn’t have been surprised if all of the members had known, even before Seongwoo knew himself.

“No… He did, kind of.”

“I’m not sensing the problem here.” Daniel deadpanned, looking increasingly confused.

“I said not to talk about it and he took it the wrong way. It’s too dangerous, I’m right, aren’t I?” Seongwoo found himself blurting out quickly, feeling the relief of admitting it but also the fear that all his thoughts would be disapproved of.

“Isn’t that a decision the two of you should make? Shouldn’t he know?” Daniel said seriously and slowly, as if he was still processing what Seongwoo said. Seongwoo could feel his heartrate increase slightly and could feel his guilt mounting as he looked at Daniel, therefore choosing to avoid his eyes and opting not to reply.

“Think about it. We’re meeting up during Jisung’s holiday soon, talk to him then, okay?” Daniel said earnestly and seriously and Seongwoo could sense Daniel’s ever developing maturity. However, as soon as Seongwoo nodded, Daniel began a dramatic retelling of the story of how he’d climbed out the bathroom window of his company at 1am to Jaehwan to go skateboarding, despite it being specifically denied by his company only hours prior. Daniel had learnt the fine art of never provoking Seongwoo too much, knowing it was important to give him something to think about but not the answer, and Seongwoo couldn’t be more thankful for their friendship and how for them, nothing had changed. Seongwoo made the resolution to try; he may not fix everything, but he owed it to his members to make things right between them.


	6. (Wanna) One

The next time Seongwoo would see any of the members was three weeks later in a rented out restaurant where the ten of them waited eagerly for Jisung to arrive. Aside from Jisung, whose limited holidays made it difficult for them to meet up often, Seongwoo had seen all the members individually or in small groups pretty regularly but there was something about being all together again that filled Seongwoo with a sense of joy and contentment that he couldn’t describe. Sure, his work now was what he really wanted to be doing, acting roles he wanted and working on music he genuinely liked and in general sleeping a healthier amount. However, the bond and the memories that had been established in Wanna One were irreplaceable.

Just like in the beginning, it didn’t matter what Seongwoo’s personal relationships with anyone were like, Minhyun especially, when they were all together, you would never notice anything was off. They talked, ate and drank for about three hours before the younger members began to be ushered out by less than happy looking managers, vaguely irritated by how late they had been kept out and by how likely it would be that the company would reprimand them. It was clear a few companies had been wanting to get away from the image of Wanna One to be able to construct their members in their intended image and that resentment seemed to apply to the members somehow, hence the number of sneaking out stories that were shared that night. Although Seongwoo found it incredibly sad that they couldn’t just be together freely, he couldn’t help but be amused and delighted by the lengths they would all go to to spend time together. Next left the members with schedules the day after, then Jisung to see his family and before long all that were left was Seongwoo, Minhyun and Daniel. After chatting comfortably for a while longer, a lightbulb seemed to go off in Daniel’s head as he looked between Seongwoo and Minhyun, resulting in his abrupt departure, pointedly glaring at Seongwoo as he did so. And so, they were alone.

“Let’s talk. Properly.” Seongwoo said quickly, knowing if they descended into silence for too long, Minhyun would just leave, moving to sit directly next to Minhyun.

“Go ahead.” Minhyun said quietly, looking completely resigned to his fate.

“I really love you, Minhyun. I made a mistake back then. I wasn’t ready for anything to happen, so I took the possibility for it to away and that wasn’t fair, that wasn’t a decision I should have made alone. I’m sorry.” Seongwoo said slowly, careful to look at Minhyun despite his fears, wanting to convey his feelings in a way that could not be doubted.

“You’re an idiot.” Minhyun sighed heavily, looking like a kicked puppy, but also as if a huge weight had been lifted from his shoulders.

“I’m your Ongcheongie.”

“Yeah, you are.” Minhyun said with a small laugh, a slight smile on his face that made Seongwoo ache with longing, it had been so long since Minhyun had genuinely smiled at him.

“You know I love you Seongwoo, that hasn’t changed. But if you don’t think you can do this, then I don’t want to force it.” Minhyun continued after a moment, his voice slightly tense. Seongwoo could hear and see his restraint and once again found himself in awe of Minhyun. Seongwoo was sure that anyone else in his position would have jumped at the chance to be with the one they loved, but Minhyun remained responsible, level headed, and as ever, self-sacrificing.

“Can… Can we try?” Seongwoo asked.

He’d thought a lot after Daniel had talked to him. It hadn’t taken long for Seongwoo to realise that he’d been unfair and to set a plan to talk to Minhyun openly. However, as the date came closer and closer Seongwoo considered the potential outcomes of what would happen. Should Minhyun deny him, Seongwoo would be able to continue in life with slightly less guilt, and the hope that eventually Minhyun and he could return to the friendship they had once. Then came the more difficult option; what to do if Minhyun still wanted to be with Seongwoo. The thought filled Seongwoo with fear; he’d seen the relationships revealed at the start of the year, the panic they caused, the careers they effected. However, Seongwoo thought Minhyun was worth fighting for, worth protecting.

“Okay… On one condition: if anything happens, you’ll still be my friend. I can handle a broken heart, but losing you again? I’m not sure if I’d cope.” Minhyun’s hesitation hadn’t disappeared completely, and Seongwoo knew he’d be naïve to hope for it to. Plus, Minhyun was still being rather diplomatic and aside from the nervous twitching of his hands, he seemed rather unemotional, which was concerning.

“I’m sorry.” Seongwoo said, a soft smile on his face as he extended a hand to Minhyun.

“I am too.” Minhyun said, barely a whisper, as he reached out and nearly one by one, intertwined his fingers with Seongwoo.

The future? Of course that was uncertain. Them? Not so much. 

**Author's Note:**

> I think this shall be my swan-song to Onghwang. I have written 7 (now 8 - 1 unreleased) works for Onghwang since February and it has been an absolute pleasure to write again after so many years. I felt like I just needed to write one more, and being canon, before what we know to be onghwang slipped out of our grasp. Perhaps I'm just doing this to compartmentalise the disbandment, who knows?  
> I had intended to release this unchaptered but feared I wouldn't get it finished before new year so wanted to give myself a chance to get some bits out (and perhaps seek out encouragement along the way).  
> Please kudos and comment, I need all the prompting I can get to get this done.


End file.
